my only friend…

…my depression is my only friend

..because she’s all i have in this world …or at least thats what she tells me to seemingly no end…

…she gives me beautiful words to use as expression..

…but plays that joke she loves of not helping me get gratification..

…she bullies me so… she comes from nowhere after disappearing for so long…or a minute.. or a day , i can’t really tell anymore …

…she gives me a sense of purpose even if it is no purpose at all…

…plans, to one day master the art of disappearing but not die lest i go to hell.

…she gives me passion….to stare at the wall and long to be flat and splatted with the white bright paint of this rented house thats not even yours when your age mates have houses and husbands and they’re all doctors and lawyers and some of them have even been to space but look at youuu!

….they haven’t… but she tells me they have and i believe her… to be honest she gives me all my information about the world and myself and myself and myself and its usually 100% lies but her voice is so soothing well its not but its so familiar and rigid so i believe her…

…once upon a time….a long long time ago… when the dinosaurs roamed the earth and Jesus was spreading his word and the Beetles were still 25 and God was making the universe and Egypt was a black mans country and…once upon that time, i dared not believe what she said….

…come to think of it, that was a very good day.

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