i feel ridicuous…

…help… i feel ridiculous..

I’m having an existential crisis.

i feel like life is passing me by yet everything is still timeless

i feel lifeless

…theres brightness in this world i know it and it mocks my blindness

taunting me and teasing me and ribbing me, its ruthless..

i don’t want to die but i want to temporarily disappear in a way that i also lose consciousness ..

(but not die, lest i go to hell)

i feel anonymous.

emphasis on the emptiness and hopelessness of truly being anonymous

…help me im useless…

a blank…. no….heavily vandalised canvas, but with nothing but blackness

i feel pointless…

depression is jealous of me because the way i do her job is so effortless

she stands up to me and attacks me and threatens to get inside me and show me how its done and i let her because lets face it i’m spineless –

…and i have no face… no soul so no base…and i told you im spineless so

help me… i’m becoming less.

spread your wings and fly Andile but i’m flightless…also groundless… also non existent also irrelevant also empty and also so very very useless …

shut up. shut up shut up shut up shut up if this were my chorus it would be endless STOP making a home for yourself in my head lest my own being becomes homeless !!!

…depression is poisonous and it’s venomous it’s ferocious and it’s malicious and so dangerous and in most cases it’s murderous.

….she’s obnoxious… and a liar and a liar and her lies are always obvious.

…..help me ….i’m being pinned down by something invisible trying to make me invisible…i feel ridiculous.

One thought on “i feel ridicuous…

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