…after swearing to never put myself through it and cursing the hell that brought me my last failures and crying and crying and refusing to be courted…
…after rejecting and rejection and telling them I’m not available and telling myself that my one child and a future pet of some sort would do, and its okay I’ll fall in love with my career because I have dreams you know, a passion and I know my future is certain so I know I’ll be fine…
…after stubbornness…or arrogance… or both as each other in disguise of pain and fear of being rejected or ridiculed or used or beaten …
…and after loneliness and pleading or praying or demanding or shamefully bribing Him with half assed promises of I will be eternally grateful and eternally obedient to your word, Lord, if only you just give me this one thing …
…and still after meeting several lucifers in disguise because of my own lack of discernment and giving, no, lending my soul to them and investing all of which I am in return for total devotion and falling flat on my face all the same because you cannot bribe God …
…after all that,
I’m in love again.
..andilè.. 
Hi Andile, Great post – I loved the surprise ending. We are all such optimists about love. There IS a happy ending.
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Thank you so much. Yea, I was actually a pessimist about love – especially after numerous heartbreaks and abusive and toxic relationships, until better love knocked on my door and I opened.
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